Out with the Old and In with the New

Welp, 2014 has come and gone and I didn't blog once.

I thought about it, I wanted to write, I even opened blogger a few times, but I never quite got something written.

2014 was a big year ...

I graduated from nursing school, became an official RN, and transitioned into life after college ... 

I spent time with my family, traveled, and built deeper friendships ...

I grew in my relationship with Christ and learned to trust Him like never before ... 

But it was also a difficult year ...

It brought changes - both big and little, fun and incredibly hard ...

It brought challenges I never thought I'd face ...

 Looking back, I can see that God showed Himself faithful again and again, even in the moments when it wasn't clear at the time. He grew me and changed me in 2014.

... I'm sure 2015 will be no different :) 

I'm excited to see what this year holds

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6

More Than Conquerors

I started my senior year of college a few weeks ago. I've been thinking and reflecting a lot about what I want this school year to be and have had so many thoughts tumbling around in my head ...

I want to stand boldly for Christ and be a light for Him. 

I want to seek His kingdom first before anything else. 

I want to ask myself at the end of the day, "Did I love Him well today?" 

We've been studying the book of Romans on Sunday mornings for the last 18 months or so and it has been so good! Yesterday we finished up chapter eight and I think this is my favorite chapter so far. 

This morning, I was re-reading the chapter and looking back over my sermon notes from yesterday. I started with verse 28 and even though I've heard these verses so many times growing up, they struck me anew this morning.

        "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew,   He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called, and these whom He called, He also justified, and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, 'For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

This made me think about who I am in Christ and the confidence that my standing brings. I am nothing without Christ. I am filthy, broken, and have nothing to offer. But in His grace and mercy Christ justified me, He gave me His righteousness, so that I stand before Him blameless and clean. I am so much more than a conqueror because of what He has done in me. It's not about me anymore, my life is a reflection of Him.

I have no reason to be afraid to stand for Christ. He is already victorious.The battle is already won.  My destiny is secure and nothing will change that, even if someone laughs in my face because of what I stand for.

There is no effective opposition against me because of who I am in Christ. God already has the victory and therefore so do I! Satan doesn't want me to realize this though, so he constantly reminds me of my past failures.

There is no potential deprivation for me as a child of God. He isn't going to withhold good things from me because of what I've done in the past. In verse 32, He even says, "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"

There is no viable accusation against me. No one can accuse me. No one! God has already removed those things and forgiven me. I'm clean in His sight and Satan can't truly use those things to paralyze me unless I let him.

There is no feasible condemnation. I am no longer condemned. I'm healed and no longer broken in His sight. Condemning myself for anything I've done in the past only makes me miserable and takes my focus off of Christ and puts it onto myself.

There is no imaginable separation from God. Nothing I've done or ever will do can separate me from God. Nothing. I am eternally secure.

 I love Psalm 139: 7-12: "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,' Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day, Darkness and light are alike to You."

 We are so much more than conquerors ... love Him well today!

Happiest of Birthdays

Happy 18th Birthday to my best friend and sister! 

I Love You, Madeline!

2013 = Surrender

I've been struggling with my resolutions for the new year. Towards the end of December and the beginning of January, I always say I'm going to read through the Bible and stick to a consistent quiet time. But I never finish it. 

It works for a few months, but by February or March I'm stuck in the pots and pans section of the Old Testament and I usually quit. I have good intentions, but almost never fulfill them. 

I was thinking about this today as I decided that it would be really neat to read through the Bible chronologically this year. I almost didn't want to do it; to even make the commitment because I figured I would just break it again this year. But then it began to dawn on me that nothing else could matter more than my time with the Lord. Absolutely nothing. 

I was put on this earth for exactly that purpose: 

to glorify God with my life.

And that is done by spending time in His word every day. 

I read the passage from "My Utmost for His Highest" for today and it really jumped out at me in relation to what I'd been thinking about. 

"'My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest - my best for His glory.' To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point ... Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only - my utmost for His highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone."

If I'm truly honest, would I say that this is true of my life? Am I living for Him and Him alone? I think God is beginning to show me that 2013 is going to be a year of surrender. 

Surrender of myself and my desires.  

Surrender to His will no matter what. 

Surrender to the plans that He has for my life regardless of where they may lead me. 

Webster's defines surrender as: 

a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another 

b : to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

a : to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner

b : to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence) 

 

I always think of surrender as being a negative thing or something I really don't want to do. But I'm beginning to realize that it doesn't have to be. Surrender can be a very good thing.

I need to surrender in order to learn, to grow, to change. 

It's like the verse in John 3 that says, "He must increase, but I must decrease." 

That's a wonderful and beautiful thing! 

Scary at times? Yes, absolutely. But, oh so good, too! 

I'm excited to see where the year 2013 takes me! I have a feeling God is going to do some great things!    

   

One Down & Four To Go

As of 1:53 this afternoon exams are over and I am officially finished with my first semester of nursing school! So that's one semester down & four to go! (spring, summer, fall, and spring again)

1st day in the uniform, including no makeup since I was headed to a bathing lab :) Fun day!

The past sixteen weeks have completely changed my life! Nursing is becoming part of who I am & another lense that I view the world through.

First day wearing the stethoscope

 Its hard to believe that it was only this summer that I was anxiously waiting to begin this journey. And now I've spent eight weeks in a nursing home and then eight weeks working at the hospital.
and loved every.single.minute!

My clinical group. These guys were awesome!

I'm off for the next three weeks and so happy for a break!
Although, come January I will definitely be ready to get back to the grind of exams and hospital visits!

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth!

Happy 11th Birthday, Elizabeth! 

I can't believe how fast you're growing up ... you're becoming such a sweet young lady!

I love you! 

When my fingers touch the keys ...

Music has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. 

I love to play and can sit at the piano for hours. 

This is because of Mrs. Horn and it all began when I was seven ... 

 My mom told me one day that she wanted me to start taking piano lessons. I wasn't thrilled about the idea then, but now, I'm so thankful she insisted I was going to at least try piano for a while. 

My first teacher was a lady we knew from church, Mrs. Susan Clark. And I took from her for about a year before her family moved. When she left, Mrs. Susan suggested Mrs.Lois Horn be my new teacher. Again, I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I found myself going to her house every week and quickly realized she was SERIOUS about music. You see, Mrs. Horn was Mrs. Horn and she didn't mess around. If you weren't willing to count, work hard, count some more, and put your best effort into the music, she wasn't interested in being your teacher. She poured her heart and soul into the music and into teaching. 

She was a wise woman and she's taught me so many things over the years. 

My fingers have always loved fast, bangy pieces and I tend to play them like a freight train about to run off the tracks. Mrs. Horn was forever insisting that I "reign that adrenaline in" and use a metronome.

She purposely gave me slow, soft pieces and told me "anyone can play loud, but only the best can play softly." 

I remember when I was about sixteen I was in love with Chopin Nocturnes and had talked Mrs. Horn into teaching me to play one of my favorites. After a few months, I was still struggling with playing the piece with enough emotion. Mrs. Horn looked at me that day and said "I don't think you'll be able to play this piece properly until you're at least forty; you won't have experienced enough of life until then."  

Through the years, Mrs. Horn became not only my beloved piano teacher, but also a sweet friend to our family. When I first started taking from her, it was only Madeline and I. 

I remember being so excited when Elizabeth was born to take her to meet Mrs. Horn for the first time.

 Then a few years later, Jubilee, was brought for her first visit. 

And finally NoraJane. 

She loved seeing the girls every week and watching them grow up. 

The years rolled by and eventually Elizabeth began coming for her own lessons. 

For the last three or four years, my mom drove Mrs. Horn to dialysis every week after our lessons. Her health wasn't always the best and we missed lessons every now and then because she was in the hospital. 

I remember being surprised when she got out that she was still going to teach. A few years later, her eyesight began to go and she became blind in one eye, but she still kept teaching. Even after the dialysis shunt in her arm rendered her unable to play anymore, she still kept teaching. Mrs. Horn was a fighter and it didn't matter if her hands could no longer glide across the keys like she wanted them to, she loved music and wasn't about to give it up. 

She had a will of iron and there were so many days when I wondered how in the world she was still with us. 

I was awed over and over again by her stamina and willingness to share what she knew and loved with those around her. 

--------------------------------------------

On Saturday, my mom got a call telling her that Mrs. Horn had died. 

I was shocked and a little dumbfounded at the news.

Mrs. Horn has always been there and no matter how sick she was she never let it get the best of her. 

But this time, she was really gone ... I would no longer see her sweet face or hear her voice. 

This was the lady who taught me what she knew and shared an amazing gift with me ... 

the intangible gift of music. 

Its something I use every day and part of who I am. 

And now, every time my fingers touch the keys, I think of Mrs. Horn and that incredible gift.